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Lost & Found

Lost & Found

I'm Wrapped In A Blanket, Curled Up In A Fetal Position, Knees Hugged To My Chest. I'm No Longer Crying; I Am Lifeless And Despondent....

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I'm Wrapped In A Blanket, Curled Up In A Fetal Position, Knees Hugged To My Chest. I'm No Longer Crying; I Am Lifeless And Despondent. I Feel Far Away. The Therapist Is Asking Me Something. "Are You Okay?" Usually I Say Yes, Even When It's Not True. This Time I Can't Say Yes. I Know That I'm Far From Being Okay. "No," I Say. "You're A Survivor. When You Walk Out Of Here Today, Walk Out Whole." I Simply Nod In Response. Am I A Survivor? Is It Possible For Me To Ever Feel Whole Again? I Have Moments When I Wonder What Is Real About Me And The Life I've Lived. What If I Really Am Too Sensitive? If I Were Stronger, Would My Story Be Less Dramatic? I Didn't Look Tattered Or Torn. In Fact, I Appeared Just The Opposite. Yet The Crudely Stitched-Together Mess That I Was Would Never Mend Unless I Exposed My Brokenness To Light And Air. I Had To Face My Truths, Accept Them, And Become Willing To Offer Forgiveness To Myself And Others. At The Beginning Of My Story, I Didn't Feel As Though I Had Any Safe Places. Not One. Through The Heartache Of Searching Out The Dark Places In My Life, I Discovered Incredible Beauty--Soft, Warm, Loving Hearts Helped Heal My Damaged One. Truth, Love, And Grace Provided The Safe Haven For Which I Was Searching.